Tinkerbell is gone *sob*

So Tinkerbell went off to be a trucker this weekend and I don't know when he'll be back in town. I think I miss my little brother already. It's strange. Our family has never been really close. We don't have to talk to each other everyday and we normally only call once a week or so - sometimes just to make sure the other is still breathing.

I've always been envious of really close families who can share everything with each other, but I'm not sure that's my family. I love my little brother for the strange, hot tempered, and crazy person he is though and I'm missing him. I just hope he takes good care of himself while doing trucker things.

While I was checking out my profile on everydayhealth.com today, I re-entered my weight, height yadah-yadah into the Calorie Calculator and apparently the number of calories I can have has gone down....my god. To lose a pound a week without making any changes to my lifestyle, I would have to limit my calories to 1350 per day. So far I've been following a 1600 cal/day plan it's been working. I'm gonna keep following that and just up the amount of exercise I'm doing. I just don't think I have the will power or proper nutrional knowledge to make 1350 calories a day work for me and stay healthy.

I wanna lose this weight, but I'm not ready to kill myself over it. bah!

Special Request Update!

This goes out to mamma-sis, who I don't talk to as much as I want to!

My pants are still falling. I've officially lost 20 pounds and I'm keeping it going. Here's to the next 20. But first, I'm going for 10...one day at a time.

I woke up this morning feeling very discouraged, actually. After being blue for a while, I just got up and went on with the calorie counting and exercise. It's not a lot, but it's gotten me this far - so worth it.

Monday Miss Tigger had a visit with the dentist and she wasn't happy with me. They had to sedate her just to get her back into her box so she was walkin like some drunk when we got back home. Reminded me of some friends of mine who crawl into my place at 3 in the morning cause I'm closer than home.... ;p tehe. I need to start taking pictures. Um. :)

Last week I watched "La Dolce Vita" and tonight I got "Highlander" from netflix (I LOVE NETFLIX). I'm not much of a fan of either of these movies...for various reasons. They aren't bad...just not my flavor. I'm expecting "Mrs. Brown" tomorrow with my all time favorite actress - Judi Dench. She's just so awesome! I'm looking forward to it. I also got a new anime coming and I'm hoping it washes the bad taste of Trinity Blood out of my mouth :) (vampire pun intended) .

I got some tunes by "White Tie Affair" and "the Veronicas" and I'm lovin 'em. Lady Gaga is still at the top of my workout playlist, though.

The amount of writing I'm doing is dismal. I'm having a hard time with a short segment of the last part. It's got me all frustrated and although I stepped away for a while, it's not better. I just have to push forward and get this book finished.

Tonight I took my nightly walk and reflected back on the past few years. A little over a year ago I pushed someone out of my life because I couldn't express my needs and my fears. I'm not sure if I've grown enough to where I could say what I need to say - but I kinda wish that I could just tell him a few things and properly explain what was going on in my head at the time. At this point, I just pray that he's alright and breathing. I don't know why I'm thinking of him - maybe it's the new Transformers movie that's being made - he loved that stuff and it reminds me of the goofy/silly times when things weren't so serious. I'm kinda looking forward to the 2nd movie myself...it will be really bittersweet in a way.

The Corset Ball at Elysium was a blast! I'm looking forward and dreading the photos from that night...for various reasons. I'm just thankful that I was too broke to drink...it was really fun anyway. Although I'm excited about the weight I've lost, I'm kinda sad because my corset didn't fit very well and I'm gonna have to figure out how to alter it if I wanna keep it. That's gonna be a weekend project.

Class is going so-so. I can't believe the instructor - she is very disorganized and doesn't use blackboard! I'm judging - but I paid for this course and it's really peeving me off. Also, she's delusional. No knowledge of grammar needed, my butt! I get to relearn everything from sixth grade all over again without a proper text book for it...*grumbles*

Oh, I'm loving my sock-monkey house slippers! I gotta take pictures... :)

Not the most delightful method...and my dream e-reader

Well, it's official: I'm now 20 pounds lighter. But that's only because I got sick as a dog yesterday and couldn't keep any food down. Now, I barely have a desire for food at all.

I'm not sure what happened or if I got sick off something I ate or caught some stomach flu thing. I woke up in the middle of the night and the porcelain bus ride began. I wasn't able to eat or drink anything for nearly 9 hours. It sucked!

Now, some of the new clothes I bought just two days ago won't fit. Damn! If this wasn't a good thing, I'd be really peeved off.

Different subject: The Amazon Kindle.

I'm not sure if I can lay down $400 bucks for a digital book e-reader - but I sure wish I could. Right now, books are taking over the apartment and I'd LOVE to just have all my books in some slim, digital casing.

The only draw back seems to be some weird design problems and the fact that the Kindle can only hold 200 books titles.....that's just not enough! It would be alright if I could transfer the files onto a backup drive and just bring them back over to the kindle if I wanted to read them again. This is a purchase for when I get a better job...it's just so nice to think about not having to trip over books anymore. Le sob!