I'm moving in two weeks and I keep looking at all my stuff and thinking, "How the **** did I get this much junk?" What makes the situation worse is that I never use half of it!
Am I materialistic? You bet. I'm a pack-rat, like my dad. That fact makes me cringe. But there's a sunny side to this situation. Since I have to move into a smaller space, I'm being forced to get rid of a lot of my "baggage". I don't need all the junk I have and it's freeing to clear out everything.
After the move, I'm getting back to work on my book. In some ways, it was hard to have to stop before I got to finish the first rough draft, but over the past three months I've had time to reflect on the story and I think I can make it even better now. One of the main characters was sort of one-sided and a little more "helpless victim" than I intended her to be. I wasn't sure how to fix that at the time, but I have a better idea of who she is now.
The other main character was also a little mixed up, although I had a clearer image of him in my head. Over all, I got more writing done than I thought I could, so I'm proud of that alone. I'm really looking forward to finishing the book though. I'm not sure if this book will ever be published or shared outside my small circle of friends, but I want to finish this for myself. I want to know I can do something and finish it.
Last night I went to the Trail of lights with Chrissy and her family. It was a lot of fun getting to spend some time with the munchkins . I've barely seen them since they were born and it kinda hurts that they don't know me. But, that's how it's been and I just want to change that now. Boozie wasn't able to come cause of being sick and that was kind of a downer.
I've always been sick of not knowing my family and being in the dark about everything that's been going on. It's always made me really uncomfortable "feeling" like things were being hidden from me, kept behind my back. I've always known there were more to things than I was being told and it always pissed me off. One of my pet peeves has always been being treated like a child. I know they probably had good reasons to keep me in the dark and were trying to protect me, but its always uncomfortable and maddening to be the only person in the room who doesn't know what the **** is going on.
I'm not sure if knowing is better or not, it's still to new. But I feel "equipped" and able to make better decisions. Maybe it will be easier now and I'll no longer feel like I'm going into unknown territory unprepared when I meet with my family.
1 comment:
Hey cookie! I am glad you wrote that last part on your blog. I really enjoyed spending time with you too. I was never sure where to put my feet when it came to Dad's other family because it always seemed like there was some angst between them and I feel like it is a much better situation now. I hope that whatever happens between Grandma and Grandpa that our relationship will continue to flourish. I really liked your friend JD too. She was funny! I was so tired that last night I don't think I did her justice. and maybe next time we shouldn't bring out the puzzles - I seem to get tunnel vision when I see them :)
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